1. |
How Do I Love You
03:38
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One for a smile
two for a laugh
three for your hands
on the small of my back
Four for a moment
where we feel the same
five for our eyes easing into the pain
We’re losing each other
So let’s make a change
The only way to stay together
Is to give it space
How do I love you?
Can you draw me a map?
Show me a sign so we can make our way back
I wanna find my way home
Where the sun meets the sea
Sand on the doorstep
Your hand reaching for me
Cause we’re losing each other
So let’s make a change
The only way to stay together
Is to give it space
Cause I’m not crying anymore
How do I love you?
Can you show me now?
I promise to listen
I’m not too big or too proud
Cause we’re losing each other
So let’s make a change
The only way to stay together
Is to give it space
One for a smile
Two for a laugh
Three for your hand
On the small of my back
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2. |
Battlechain Rose
03:40
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Last night I slept in the middle of the bed
Moved only inches but it was miles in my head
I hadn’t been on your side in a very long time
And the wind in your heart hadn’t blown you to mine
I am two shades of blue from a battlechain rose
I’m as blue as the sky
The night before the storm wind blows
I’m as broken and bruised as a battlechain rose
Watch my petals hit the ground, scatter in the snow
Carry me to safety battlechain rose
3 A.M. I dreamt in the middle of the bed
Of the Hemlock hanging in the garden where we wed
You smiled through the sunlight taking my hand
Then you shattered like glass
And blew away like grains of sand
I am two shades of blue from a battlechain rose
I’m as blue as the sky the night before the storm wind blows
I’m as broken and bruised as a battlechain rose
Watch my petals hit the ground, scatter in the snow
Oh won’t you carry me to safety battlechain rose?
Break of dawn I wept in the middle of the bed
The sheets so cold deception steeped the threads
Your words running like a freight train through my head
I’m looking for a way out but the only exit sign’s within
I am two shades of blue from a battlechain rose
I’m as blue as the sky the night before the storm wind blows
I’m as broken and bruised as a battlechain rose
Watch my petals hit the ground, scatter in the snow
Oh won’t you carry me to safety battlechain rose?
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3. |
To Rise You Gotta Fall
04:56
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I been sittin’ on the porch this morning
Just strumming and smoking green
Thinking about the highs and lows
Between now and when I was 18
When you walk into the garden gate
You’re bound to get bit by a snake
Guess you don’t know love without a little heartache
How can you know good until you know better?
If you’re looking for love get ready to get hurt
You can’t win ‘em all and to rise you gotta fall
So I went down to Salinas
To find work and to clear my head
Got a job as a hired hand
When the harvest time came near
But the dirt went dust and the crops dried out
If you don’t get to market there’s no payout
Guess you don’t praise the rain
Until you’ve had a drought
How can you know good until you know better?
You’re gonna find pain on your way to pleasure
But it’s the bumpy roads
That lead you where you need to go
And bring you home
Went looking for some perspective
So I knocked on my mama’s door
My heart was filled with sorrow
And I collapsed right there on her floor
She said, “Girl you best not cry any longer
Life is cruel and it just gets harder
But what doesn’t kill you makes your story longer”
She said, “How can you know good
Until you know better?
If you’re looking for love get ready to get hurt
Life’s a hurricane but the magic’s what remains
Ain’t no rainbow without a little rain”
Oh how can you know good until you know better?
If I knew what I know now I’d write me a letter
Saying you can’t win ‘em all
But to rise you gotta fall, to rise you gotta fall
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4. |
Staring At The Sun
05:32
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You stay over there
Don’t get too close
I was living at your house
But your heart stayed closed
I have seen you as you see yourself
A restless spirit alone in a crowd
Lying in the dunes
On the wings of spring
The fog was lifting
No more suffering
Did you see me as a wide-eyed doe?
A virgin voice eclipsing your own?
I close my eyes and see your face
As if I’m staring at the sun
I can still hear you say
The love we had wasn’t enough
Watching as the treetops turn to gold
Listen for the sounds that silence stole
Always saw us as a raven pair
But you lost your way and left me circling in the air
I close my eyes and see your face
As if I’m staring at the sun
I can still hear you say
The world we had wasn’t enough
Don’t you see we can’t go back
To dark hotels pretending
It’s not slipping away?
Did you see me as a wide-eyed doe?
A virgin voice eclipsing your own?
I close my eyes and see your face
As if I’m staring at the sun
I can still hear you say
The world we had wasn’t enough
Do you close your eyes and see my face?
Do you ever fall back in love?
I’m afraid to hear you sing
That velvet voice leading me on
And on and on and on
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5. |
Something Really Mean
02:00
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Sitting around
Thinking of something really mean
That would hurt you
Walking down the aisle
Wondering what it is that she feeds you
When I needed you the most
That’s when you became a ghost
Walking down the aisle
For the first time
I see my father cry
And the tears roll down
And I can’t explain why
You left me when I needed you most
I’m the anchor and you’re the ghost
You led me along
I ask myself the questions
But the answers don’t belong
What went wrong?
Sitting around
Thinking of something really mean
That would hurt you
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6. |
I Hate You
03:59
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I hate you oh how I try to hate you
I get bitter each time you run through my mind
Between love and hate, there’s a little thin line
I’m trying to hate you right out of my mind
I hate you each time I cry I hate you
Little drops of anger fall from my eyes
I thought that you loved me, I was so blind
I’m trying to hate you right out of my mind
It’s funny how a heart that loved you one time
Could be filled with so much anger for you and your kind
I hate you oh how I try to hate you
I’m trying to hate you right out of my mind
Hate you, hate you right out of my mind
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7. |
Can't Fool the Fool
03:38
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I’m sick while I wait
So I’ll try to concentrate on the words
The ashes in the hearth show the remnants
Of our world that burned
I’m willing to let you leave just a mark
‘Cause a scar is forever and you ain’t worth the hurt
You’ve been likely to lead me to thinking
But I finally remember my worth
You can’t fool the fool any longer
These eyes have seen through your disguise
Every day my heart is getting stronger, stronger stronger
And you can’t fool the fool any longer
We wished for the same thing
A home and two golden rings
But that was just the start of the end
For you and me
Well the rules haven’t changed
You can’t have it both ways you see
So I’m leaving a game I never wanted to play
Honey nothing’s worth that fortune and fame
You can’t fool the fool any longer
These eyes have seen through your disguise
Every day my heart is getting stronger, stronger, stronger
And you can’t fool the fool any longer
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8. |
Things I've Done
03:21
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All the things I’ve done to get attention
All the things I’ve done to get attention
Were you really worth it?
You don’t even know the pain
Of dressing up for no one, you wouldn’t even play the game
And now you’re walking down the street
Blind to everyone you meet
Did you really think no one
Would see through your façade?
All the things I’ve done to get attention
All the things I’ve done to get attention
Was she really worth it?
You don’t walk beside her now
I can’t believe I heard it
From someone else’s mouth
I sang all of your songs
Got a band and took my whiskey strong
Played the bars while all along
You were leaving me behind
All the things I’ve done to get attention
All the things I’ve done to get attention
When you were daydreaming
I wondered what you were thinking about
When you were day drinking it finally showed
All the things I’ve done to get attention
All the things I’ve done to get attention
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9. |
You Stopped Loving Me
04:39
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Times when I was changing
But ain’t that the point of it all?
Nothing lasts forever
But why’d you have to let it all fall?
I thought we’d walk for many miles
Through the turning tides
But when I look back on the wet sand
The only footprints that I see are mine
You stopped loving me
But I can’t stop loving you
You thought that I was silky sheets
But even silk has its flaws
After years of sleeping
Did the knots and imperfections rub you raw?
You stopped loving me
But I can’t stop loving you
You stopped loving me
But I can’t stop loving
You kept your secrets
Where no light could shine
I never would have expected
You’d be a man to believe his own lies
Now you’re just a memory
And I’ve never felt so sad
Sleepless nights just thinking
I’ve been homesick for a home I never had
You stopped loving me
But I can’t stop loving you
You stopped loving me
But I can’t stop loving
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10. |
It's Ok Not To Be Ok
03:32
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Where did you go
What didn’t I know
Were you hiding behind a cloak?
Was it a dream or a joke?
Like a mirror I broke
What did you think?
Am I just a drink
You can tumble round the town?
You’re bringing me down
Hey I’m nobody’s clown
It’s ok
Not to be ok
The truth set me free
It feels good to see
Of the numbers you could’ve dialed
Well I’m out in the wild
Sometimes I feel like a child
Did the bloom leave the rose
When you took off your clothes?
I felt the distance when you slept
Heard your feet as you crept
Oh I secretly wept
It’s ok
Not to be ok
I walked the rainbow
Down to the gold
When I got to the end
It’d been sold
Well you put me on hold
Baby you’re so cold
It’s ok
Not to be ok
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11. |
Last To Know
04:33
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Why do you say you do when I know you don’t?
Don’t say you will when we both know that you won’t
Why do you say you’ll stay when you wanna go?
Oh and why, why was I the last to know?
You were looking for a reason to walk out the door?
Drifting on a river of tears I’ve been here before
Put on a smile and you put on a show
Oh if everybody knew honey, why was I the last to know?
And if you wanna feel free take all the time you need
And if you wanna touch the sky well that’s fine by me
And if the choices that you’re making leave you empty and feeling low
It’ll be news to me, I’ll be the last to know
Nobody tells you anything you don’t wanna hear
You put your poker face on and you wore it all those years
You can’t fix something if you don’t admit it’s broke
Oh so why, why was I the last to know?
And if we sang that song like it used to be
Would you come alive fall back in love with me?
And if your heart of stone could learn to bleed
Would we ride that road, would you stick with me?
And if you wanna feel free take all the time you need
And if you wanna touch the sky well that’s fine by me
And if the choices that you’re making leave you empty and feeling low
It’ll be news to me, I’ll be the last to know
I’ll be the last to know
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Nicki Bluhm Nashville, Tennessee
A San Franciscan now calling Tennessee home, Nicki Bluhm possesses a modern, clear-eyed perspective that grabs the heart and
keeps you holding on to every word.
Releasing June 3 of 2022, her new album AVONDALE DRIVE is a masterful exploration of what it means to be fully yourself, rather than a vessel for the expectations of others.
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